Good Morning New World,
I know. Every season I take off and then come back. This time with good reason. Of course, it’s a very long story, but aren’t they all?!
I took off, for a while, because I started to forget who I was. I know there are a lot of readers, out there, saying to themselves, ” How can you forget who you are? Was you high?” I will start off by saying, no, I don’t get high. Hell, I barely drink, due to a few health problems. To answer the second question, yes, you can forget, very easily, who you are.
It starts off with after my contract ending at the temp company. I was devastated for long while. I seemed to feel as if everything I did, was bound to end in disaster. This also encompassed a lot of personal issues, within my life, that still have not been fully resolved. It was a sketchy time. In fact, one of my old coworkers told me it was a blessing in disguise. At that moment, it was very hard to look at it that way. I had bills piling up and calling me, everyday. I tried to throw myself back into photography, but it then felt like a chore. In fact, the images that I shot, during this time period, are still on my laptop. As beautiful as the images were, I just wasn’t ready to go back into my creative nature. I felt stumped.
So, I decided to go back to work. It was a blessing and a curse, at the same time. The blessing was that I was able to pay off bills and pay for classes, to gain a professional certificate in photography. The curse was that it took my self esteem down to an all new low. Everything I did, was wrong. In fact, as soon as I walked into work, I felt as if I did that wrong. There were days that I contemplated quitting. I am not saying this, as to say “You should never quit a project”, because now learning what I know, if it doesn’t serve you, in any way, please leave! It had gotten to the point where my supervisor assumed that I did everything wrong, on purpose, and was in spite of her. I went home and literally cried out in prayer, because I tried my hardest, and it wasn’t good enough. So needless to say, at that point, I still did not want to shoot or finish any work because I felt like dirt beneath the dirt.
It, then, hit me that my old coworker was correct. The time off was, when my prior contract ended, in fact, was considered a blessing. It took a bad situation to see that this position was not who I am, nor meant to be, and it showed me how my life really needed to change. The last two weeks had gotten better, mainly because I only had two more weeks. During my final week, instead of burning bridges, as I normally would, I left on a positive note, accepting all good grace gestures.
I began to realize everything I would love to do, on my days off. I wanted to dive back into blog. There are still topics I want to share on. I want to finish my classes in photography, so that I can have my certificate. Needless to say, on my first week off, I decided to rest and relax. Also, I prayed that I would regain my creative spirit back. I’m still a work in progress. I am starting to gain all new ideas. During that time, that I was working, heck, I’m gonna call it what it was, depression. It made me forget that I am a photographer, social media maven, advisor, giver, funny chick, and an artist! Unfortunately we go for jobs, instead of life paths. Our main source of doing is financially motivated, as opposed to what we love to do. Sadly the case, that is the world that we live in, or the world I only know.
So, without further ado, I would like to welcome myself back!
Lady Tre’, welcome back!
Let’s get back into it!